Eye halve a spelling chequer It came with my pea sea It plainly marques four my revue Miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar write It shows me strait a weigh. As soon as a mist ache is maid It nose bee fore two long And eye can put the error rite Its rare lea ever wrong. Eye have run this poem threw it I am shore your pleased two no Its letter perfect awl the weigh My chequer tolled me sew.

She wanted embroidered on pants and bra A message that told him “you’ve gone too far” Something to tell him, “if you read this”, “You’re much too close, so give it a miss”.

“Certainly Madam,” the sales lady said, “In what kind of script would you like it read”? “Something big and bold won’t fail”, “But then again, I’ll go for Braille”.

Of course I love ya darling You’re a bloody top notch bird And when I say yur gorgeous I mean every single word

So ya bum is on the big side I don’t mind a bit of flab It means that when I’m ready There’s somethin’ there to grab

So your belly isn’t flat no more I tell ya, I don’t care So long as when I cuddle ya I can get my arms around there

No sheila who is your age Has nice round perky breasts They just gave into gravity But I know ya did ya best

I’m tellin’ ya the truth now I never tell ya lies I think its very sexy That you’ve got dimples on ya thighs

I swear on me nana’s grave now The moment that we met I thought u was as good as I Was ever gonna get

No matter wot u look like I’ll always love ya dear Now shut up while the footy’s on And get me another beer!

The perfect man is gentle Never cruel or mean He has a beautiful smile And he keeps his face so clean

The perfect man loves children And will raise them by your side He will be a good father And good husband to his bride

The perfect man loves cooking Cleaning and vaccuuming too He’ll do anything to convey His feelings of love to you

The perfect man is sweet Writing poetry from your name He’s a best friend to your mother And kisses away your pain

He has never made you cry Or hurt you in any way…… OH SCREW THIS STUPID POEM………… THE PERFECT MAN IS GAY!