Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her throat, said, “Red, I’m going to screw your brains out!”

To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a .44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, “No you’re not! You’re going to eat me, just like it says in the book!”

I had barely sat down on the toilet when I heard a voice from the other bathroom stall saying, “Hi, how are you?” I don’t know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed, “Doin’ just fine.” And the other person said, “So what are you up to?” (What kind of a question is that?)

At that point, I was thinking, “This is too bizarre,” so I said, “Uh, I’m like you - just traveling.” At this point I was just trying to get out as fast as I could when I heard another question, “Can I come over?” Okay, this question was just too weird for me, but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I answered: “No. I’m a little busy right now.”

Then I heard the person say, nervously: “Listen, I’ll have to call you back. There’s an idiot in the next toilet who keeps answering all my questions!”